Go Big For Your Second Wedding
I work with a lot of non-traditional couples who love to go big for their second wedding. But I also hear many couples who don’t think they should have a big second wedding. Maybe it’s because they met later in life…but whatever it is, I hear from a lot of my more mature couples that they feel like their celebration should be more demure. Almost like a second marriage isn’t as worth celebrating as much as the first. Or that since the bride is in her 40s (or above), she shouldn’t wear the big white dress she’s dreamed of. Or that maybe they shouldn’t do some of the more traditional couples activities, because it’s weird since they did them at their first wedding.
I hear a lot of, “oh it’s my second marriage, I’m not sure we should splurge on that”, “I’ll just buy a dress that’s more age appropriate”, “let’s not make a big deal”. I also hear a lot of fear wondering if people will want to come to their ceremony, worrying about family drama, and debating on cutting down the guest list.
I think that’s wrong. Don’t devalue your wedding because it’s your second (or fifth). Don’t not get the dress you’ve dreamed of because you’re not a dewey-faced 20 something. Your wedding is no less binding whether it happens at 25 or at 75. So please, don’t rob yourself of the day you both want over any perceived ideas of it being less than.
If that sounds like you, please humor me for a moment. Shut your eyes and think about your dream wedding. Think only about what you and your partner truly want. Pretend you’re 25 with your budget at 55, if that helps! I just want you to dream big, forgetting about other people’s expectations.
Ok now, I want you to think about all the ways you can make it happen! Prioritize your big wants and forget what society says (it’s not their wedding anyway). If you want to go somewhere exotic, do it. If you want the Cinderella-esque ballgown, buy it! If you want epic pictures, hunt down your dream photographer!
In fact…I think a second chance is the time to get what you couldn’t/wouldn’t’ at your first wedding. Like Aziz says, “treat yo-self”! Love is always worth celebrating, no matter when you find it.
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