Ensure You Have A Safe Boudoir Experience

Boudoir is all about showing the balance of vulnerability and empowerment. The key to a successful boudoir session is being able to create in an environment that you feel safe and comfortable. Over the years I’ve worked hard to build a studio experience where women can come and feel as though they’re in a safe, secure, and comfortable place.

Your safety and comfort are so important, not just so you can get great photos, but more importantly, so you live your life confidently and not feel like you have to watch your back every second. In the world of Facebook Marketplace (and Craigslist before that), we’ve all gone and met someone to pick up something in a place we weren’t comfortable or felt safe in. Most of the time, it turns out to be nothing, but sometimes, those instincts are real.

Unfortunately, there are some bad apples out there, even in the photography industry, that give the rest of us legitimate photographers a bad rap. Boudoir photography is the most common genre where we come across these types of individuals. It is so important that you’re able to discern, before you start your shoot, if you’ll feel safe and comfortable, so I’m here to share some tips to help you suss out whether the photographer/studio you’re using for your boudoir shoot is on the up and up.

How Do I Know a Boudoir Photographer is Legit

Have you ever looked at a boudoir photo and thought “they look awkward or uncomfortable?” Emotions and feelings really show through in your body language, posing, facial expressions, stiffness, etc. It’s actually really easy to see when someone does not feel safe or comfortable.

Here’s a list of the top things to look for when reviewing a potential photographer to determine if they are legitimate:

Do they have a good online presence and a history of personal testimonies (good online reviews or a good reputation in their community)?

Reviews are everything to a business owner. Professional services industries such as photography thrive or die based on word-of-mouth testimonies and online reviews.

Have they been in business for a reasonable amount of time or (if they’re a newer photographer) do they have a good portfolio of work that shows their skill and experience as a boudoir photographer?

At the end of the day, you’re looking to hire a photographer and you need to know that person can deliver. Someone who’s been around for a long time, or had a well established portfolio is a good clue as to whether they can deliver.

Have they been around as a boudoir photographer for a while or did they just pop up?

While new photographers aren’t necessarily a bad thing, this industry isn’t any different than others where there’s these “fly-by-night” operations that show up, are here for a bit, then disappear as soon as something bad happens.

Has their business been around for a while or have they changed names, rebranded, or moved around?

This is important because professionals generally do not make drastic changes to their business unless something happens. Sometimes a rebrand is needed to help the business reach the right clients, but most often it’s done because something bad happened and the owner is trying to distance themselves.

Is their online presence legitimate?

This one can be hard to determine, but it’s crucial these days. AI generated images and text are rampant online. A person can pay someone to generate hundreds of fake online reviews (even on Google). A few clues that a review is fake can include: use of extreme language like “Best ever” or “worst experience” – genuine reviews tend to have a balanced tone; use of generic phrases and lack of specific details; irrelevant information or mentioning unrelated details; new reviewer accounts with no history; a reviewer who has only ever left a single review; a sudden influx of reviews posted within a short period; and a large amount of reviews that came in around the same date. Typically, a photographer with bad intentions won’t take the time to establish multiple social media channels and a website. A review left by a real client will mention things about the studio, how they felt, impressions, and more. Fake reviews written by bots or by friends and family will typically just say how amazing the photographer is without going into specific details.

I Feel Safe and Comfortable When I Know the Person Behind the Camera

Now, that’s not to say you know them personally, specifically. You may not, and that’s fine, but there should be avenues for you to get to know them.

Honestly, it’s a client red flag for me when they want to book a shoot without talking with me first. Most people want to know at least a bit about the person they’re hiring to take intimate photos of them (as they should).

You can get to know a boudoir photographer by:

• Reading their bio on their website

• Looking for images of them

• Look for personal social media accounts

• Do a quick Google search to check for criminal history.

I know that last one sounds extreme, but you’re trusting this person with your nude images. Don’t you want to make sure they won’t be using them for some nefarious purpose?!

Before a client can book with me, we do a phone call and then also a planning consultation prior to their shoot. This gives them at least 2 conversations with me prior (and one where they either meet me in person or via Zoom) so that they know that I am who I say I am. Sometimes photographers are shy and introverted and may not have a huge online presence personally, but for many of us who shoot boudoir, we do try to periodically pop in on our channels and put our face on there to build trust and maintain a presence. It’s all designed to help you know us and feel safe and comfortable when you do your boudoir session.

The Boudoir Studio Should Feel Safe, Secure, and Comfortable for Me

I have a great pool of professional models I work with and more than once one of them told me they were booked for a boudoir shoot at a rented AirBnB, only to show up and find out it’s an empty warehouse in a questionable area of town. Google maps is your friend. You can look up the address, search the surrounding area, and even street view the place. Granted, usually the maps and view are a few years out of date, but you’ll still know if the place is as described to you.

A professional boudoir photographer will be proud of their studio. After all, it is the place where they create art. As I do, they will likely periodically post images of their studio space on their social media and website. They should be upfront with the location of their studio. The address to mine is right on my website. It’s also located right behind my house.

The studio location should be clearly marked as a place of business, with signage, or other indications. Mine is denoted by designed signage for client parking, a separate entry door directly into the studio, and signage at the studio entry. I also invite clients to tour the studio space prior to their boudoir session so they can be comfortable with where it is and the location space.

There are also plenty of photographers who work from a room in their home or from entirely separate commercial spaces and there’s no right or wrong way to have a studio. What is right or wrong though, is how safe you feel going to that space. If you don’t want to meet the photographer at the studio for the first time, request a consultation or coffee meeting at a public location or via a Zoom or Google Meets call. You can also always request a video walk-through of the space while on Zoom if you’re coming from out-of-town and can’t make an extra trip.

I Might Feel More Safe and Comfortable at my Boudoir Session If I Bring Someone With Me

Simply put, ask your photographer (during the initial call/chat) if you can bring a friend along to your boudoir shoot. Even if you don’t actually intend to, their answer can give you some comfort, or be a huge red flag. If your photographer hesitates, ignores the question, or has a bunch of excuses as to why others can’t be there, run. Don’t walk, just run.

Not wanting other people there is a signal that they may be hoping to have you alone where you’re more vulnerable. A legitimate photographer will be happy if you’re bringing along a cheerleader and hype-person. Not only does it lessen our liability to have a third person there, they may decide they want to book a session as well, so it’s also a win for us to have them along for the ride!

Bringing your own person is about your personal safety and comfort. I have a team and can certainly provide a third person, but you should know the person who’s there to ensure your safety. Also, you may not feel safe or comfortable getting naked in front of a small crowd or people you don’t know. I’ve had clients bring a friend, partner, sibling, mom, and even once, a grandma. Even if you prefer to fly solo (as do most of my clients), just by asking if you can have someone else along should give you a good indication if their studio is going to be a safe and comfortable environment for your boudoir session.

How Does Your Boudoir Photographer Make You Feel Safe and Comfortable During Your Session

I LOVE when clients ask me how their shoot will go and how I ensure their comfort and safety. As a woman, I understand these concerns deeply and empathetically share! It’s important that you feel comfortable with me, so I start off with sharing a bit about myself, as a mom and RN. You may prefer to work with a female photographer and to know that all of my boudoir team is comprised entirely of women. This isn’t to say that there aren’t plenty of other trustworthy photographers of other genders, just that it can be comforting to a woman to work with and be photographed by another woman.

I share about the studio and how there will be no one there except us after the makeup artist leaves (unless you bring a friend, of course. They’re more than welcome to stick around in the studio). The great thing about having a studio on private property is I can schedule my lawn and pool services on non-shoot days so you don’t have to worry about someone lurking around outside the studio. I want you to feel that your privacy is completely honored.

I provide a safe, private space for you to change away from the studio. Some clients don’t care and will change in the middle of the studio, which is totally fine if you feel comfortable, but I want everyone to know that they have a private space of their own to set up, change, etc.

I will ask you about your nudity preferences prior to your shoot, so you never feel pressured one way or another to undress to a certain level. During your consultation, we’ll nail down what you plan to wear so there are no surprises. You may want to stay fully covered for the duration of your shoot, or you may want implied nudes (they look nude but everything is covered), or maybe you want full nudes. It’s your shoot, so wherever you fall on that spectrum, I’m here to capture it and help you feel comfortable while doing so.

How Your Boudoir Session Images are Safely Stored and Shared Matters

A legitimate photographer will be able to answer this question clearly and concisely, whereas someone who just wants to take nude photos will likely not. In our studio, we store your images on offline hard drives. When we upload your gallery online, it is password protected and is only accessible to you and I. I have a box where I ask if I can share any images of your shoot on the photoshoot contract, and in what capacity. For example, do you want to be tagged on social media? Are only certain images ok to share? Do you need your images locked down tighter than Fort Knox? Do you want them deleted as soon as you’ve received the ones you choose?

As much as it brings me joy to share online, I will never ever pressure you one way or another. All of your privacy wishes are honored, it doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity or a school teacher, it’s a sacred trust between us. When you come to my studio, you never have to worry about seeing your images pop up somewhere they shouldn’t.

Creating a Safe and Comfortable Boudoir Session Experience Helps Create Stunning Photos

I hope this helps you feel empowered to select a boudoir photographer and studio to work with that is experienced in your safety and comfort. Whether you choose to work with us or someone else, I want you to feel safe for the duration of your shoot and afterwards. Boudoir should be an empowering experience, not one where you worry you were taken advantage of.

If you have had a terrible boudoir experience where you suspect something else may have been going on, please please report it. We can only stop these people if enough of us are willing to stand up and drag them into the light. Also, please get the help you need to heal. There is no shame in having been a victim.

Your safety is of the utmost importance to me, and I want to keep finding ways for my studio to learn and grow so we can do better each year at crafting a safe, comfortable, fun, and empowering boudoir session experience! If you’ve ever had an experience or think of something that can be improved, I’m all ears! You are the best person to help establish studio practices that keep you safe and comfortable.